Sex and the Midlife Girl (and Guy)

Sex is something that only living people do. And when you stop having sex (even with yourself) you have sent nature one of its clearest signals that you are on the road to dead.

But sex does inevitably change with age. Parts may not work the same, and you and your partner might be finding that the goals of sex that once served your relationship may have changed, too.

This is not the time for despair. Midlife presents a great opportunity for sexual exploration and awakening, especially for women who now find themselves freed up from the confines of reproduction and hormonal cycling.

Here are the posts I’ve written in a frank way about the changes that have occurred in my own sex life after a long marriage, and how my husband and I keep our erotic selves alive after 27 years of marriage.

Your mileage may vary, but I hope you and your partner, if you have one, have not decided yet to park the car.

WARNING! SPOILERS! I just got back from seeing 50 Shades of Grey at a multiplex near me. If you don’t want to read spoilers then go away. If you don’t want to read another post about 50 Shades of Grey then go away. Unlike Christian Grey, I give absolutely no fucks (more on that later). […]


Geraldo Rivera created a tempest in a teapot when he said during a recent interview on Fox News that women should not agree to short term trial marriages (called beta marriages) because youth is a woman’s most important asset. Here’s what he said: …I think [what] a woman brings to a marriage more than anything […]


I’m sending this one out to all my Christian sisters. I can hear you already. “That Chloe!” “She’s leading all the nice Christian women astray! Again.” No, I’m not. I’m here to help a sister (and my brothers in Christ) out. I could just as easily have titled this post, “Why I politely asked God […]


Not every man has a male midlife crisis, but enough of them do–wreaking havoc on their lives and the lives of those who love them–that it’s become a cultural cliché. Since Boomers are the ones who invented the notion that nobody over 30 should be trusted, can we honestly be surprised that people become a […]


Today’s post is Part II of this post. It contains cursing and somewhat graphic sex. You’ve been warned. “I have a crush on another man.” My words, hanging there between us, seemed to have suddenly sucked all of the air out of the restaurant. I had played a hand that I couldn’t unplay even if […]


I’ve been thinking a lot lately about keeping my marriage of 27 years sexually exciting. I realize that many women my age don’t give a hoot about keeping their marriage hot, but I do. I care a lot. So does my husband. Keep Your Marriage Hot by Staying Hot (and by hot I don’t mean […]


I don’t remember the first time I was exposed to porn, but it must have been young because my little girl dream was to grow up and become a centerfold. To be honest, I was too young to truly understand the appeal for men. All I knew was I wanted to grow up one day […]


Disclaimer: This post deals with the adult topic of how to pleasure a woman.  If you’re a man not into pleasuring your woman, or a woman not into being pleasured then that’s cool. (Although you need to know that I pity you.) How to Stay Married Ladies (and brave gentlemen), imagine my shocked delight, and, […]


It’s February, and as every terrified man living on Planet Hallmark knows, February is the month when a woman’s fancy turns to Romance with a capital $$$. Even though I’m pretty savvy and cynical, and most definitely onto Hallmark’s game, come this time of year my mind always makes a small break with financial reality […]


Ever put off making a seriously tough decision because it didn’t seem you had any good choices in front of you?   How does one choose between Choice A which will result in you losing all of your hair forever, or Choice B that will cause you to grow a beard you can never shave off. Okay, […]