It’s no secret that I’m turning 50 very soon.

How did this happen?

Last night I had a terrible nightmare that my husband left me for three other women. I suppose that it should comfort me that my subconscious thinks it would take three women to replace me, but still.

I was pissed. Really pissed. If he leaves me for three women he’s a dead man.

I had my two year follow-up bone scan and found that I do have osteoporosis in my wrists. I’ve always had tiny wrists and little fingers. I wear the same size 4 wedding ring I wore when I  got married at 25.

On the good side, my hip and my spine didn’t get any worse.


I’m talking about my goddamn hip now. There could only be one thing worse.

Oh, yeah. I’m going there.

On Thursday, I’m seeing a surgeon about possibly having hysterectomy. That sounds like a good time right there, doesn’t it?

I must be almost 50 because this year I’ve been trying to decide between having knee surgery or a hysterectomy.

The knee is getting better. The uterus is a goner.

And lately I’ve been obsessed with thinking about having a blepharoplasty. Geez, I have heavy eyelids.

All this thinking about the various surgeries I either need or want makes me feel sort of crazy.

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{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }

SewWhat? November 30, 2011 at 2:48 pm

3 women to replace you… ROTFLOL!

Yah, I won’t be 40 till March but I’m about to go in for a hysto, consult is Dec 6th. *sigh*

It stinks getting old! LOL


Kel November 30, 2011 at 7:59 am

I feel your pain sister!!! LOL at 43 I had the hysterectomy thing. Recovery=not fun! But I had been having a terrible time with it. Giant cysts, fibroids…..Now, I’m so happy I did it.
And girl, you look hot! Would you really want to go back to 25 and have to learn everything you NOW know all over again?
Not me.
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Brenda November 30, 2011 at 7:05 am

Oh, and lo these many years dh has always teased that when I turned 40 he was trading me in for two twenties. I asked him right before my birthday if I needed to be worried. He grinned and said no.

Is it the shoes?!



Brenda November 30, 2011 at 7:03 am

I woke up this morning with my hip raging at me in pain. And I only just turned 40!

I’m following you in your red spike-heeled footsteps and if you want to toss out any ill-functioning organs you have my prayers and encouragement.

And thanks for the bone scan reminder. My 80 yo body has so many other issues that I forgot about that one. I’ll sign up for one soon.

But first I’m getting myself back into my pole classes. Gotta have a place to wear my pink platforms, you know. (Just in my 40’s and I’m still in pink trainers…the red ones will come later. 😉


Susan in the Boonies November 29, 2011 at 8:22 pm

One of the three was Jennifer Anniston. I’m sorry to have to be the one to break the bad news to you, but at least he had the good judgment to leave you for a superstar who will be able to afford all the surgeries her heart desires, should her charms ever begin to fade.

Cold comfort?

Well, it was just a dream, anyway.

I hope the hysterectomy proves to be just the ticket!

And the growing old thing can really suck at times.

But I’ll always be older than you, so there’s a little warm comfort for you. 😀
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Robin November 29, 2011 at 4:42 pm

Sheesh, I wish I had looked as good at 25 as you look at 50. 🙂
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Magnolia November 29, 2011 at 2:54 pm

Come on OH-ver to the other side. 🙂
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Kristi November 29, 2011 at 8:54 am

I agree with Julia – if only we could all look as good as you at 50. Seriously.
Bummer about the hysterectomy, though. I’ve heard nothing good about the recovery time, but I’m sure it will be worth it.


Julia November 29, 2011 at 7:09 am

:hug: You need the hysterectomy. Your knee is getting better. Your eyelids are fine. I promise.

Your husband won’t leave you for three women. He’s got too good a thing going with you. 🙂

And from my vantage point a couple of years behind you…50 looks hot, baby!!


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