As I work my way through the book, The Happiness Project, by Gretchen Rubin, and try to develop my own Happiness Project, I’m running headlong into one of my worst self-defeating obstacles, my indecision.
For example, several years ago I bought this beautiful, large area rug that I simply loved.
The size was perfect and the colors went perfectly with my decorating scheme. The price at Lowe’s was very, very good for a 9’x11′ area rug and so I snapped it up.
But when we got it home and unwrapped it we noticed it smelled faintly of tires. Figuring it was the packaging (the rug does not have any rubber backing whatsovever and is supposedly made of 100% wool), we opened the windows and figured the smell would go away. It never quite did.
I think we stopped noticing it for the most part, but everytime we returned from being away we would notice it immediately upon entering the room. But area rugs are expensive and this one is attractive and so I ignored the smell.
Sadly, despite Febreeze, putting it outside in the sun, baking soda, and time, the smell, if anything, got worse.
Then my son’s dog ate a corner of it. I trimmed it off and made the best of it.
Since I still thought the rug was attractive and new rugs are expensive, I ignored the chewed off corner and the faint smell.
Frankly, I just didn’t know what to do about the rug. I hated to throw out a nice, large rug and spend the money on a new one. I think rug shopping is an expensive pain and there is no guarantee I won’t end up with another one that has some flaw. So I continued to do nothing even though I was growing increasingly unhappy with the rug.
I really should do something about this stupid rug that makes me unhappy every single day. But I don’t because I can’t decide what to do.
This is just one small example of how indecision keeps me from taking action.
There are several annoying little things like this: problems I really don’t want to deal with because they are expensive, or will take a lot of time and/or energy, or whose solutions are ones I just don’t want to face.
I feel paralyzed because I want to make exactly the perfect decision. Fear of regret or making a mistake seems to be dictating my life. Maybe I ought to just get a coin.
As I’m working through what projects I’d like to get done in the next year, it is becoming more and more apparent to me what a crippling problem indecision is for me and how it keeps me from taking action in my life.
Anyway, along with other things that I’ve been hanging onto because of indecision, the smelly rug went to the dump today. Yay! Small victories lead to bigger victories. I don’t miss the tire smell at all.
I don’t have a concrete list of what I’d like to accomplish in the next year, yet, but certainly freedom from indecision is at the top of my list.