They Should Have Called it “Juicy Fruit”

by Chloe Jeffreys · 23 comments

in Sex, Love and Marriage, Your Vagina and You

“So how about that vaginal moisturizer review, huh? Where the hell is it, Chloe? You promised us a review of our product if we sent you a 10-day sample, and so far you’ve given us bupkis.“*

All true. As a product-reviewer I suck.

But Hyalo GYN®, the product I was given to review, doesn’t suck.

Except the name.

I’d like to tell the fine people at Hyalo GYN® that they need a different name for their wonderful product because I want to tell people I know in real life about it, but I don’t know how to pronounce the name. I think it’s a big marketing mistake making a product to treat vaginal dryness that women can’t pronounce. Women are already embarrassed enough talking about vaginal dryness without adding in an unpronounceable, chemically-sounding product name.

If only they’d called it “Juicy Fruit.” Now that would have been a good name for a vaginal moisturizer, don’t you think? Everybody can say that. Unfortunately, Juicy Fruit® is already taken, so I guess we’re stuck figuring out how to pronounce Hyalo GYN®. Thankfully, I’ve opted out of making a vlog on Hyalo GYN®, so you don’t have to listen to me attempt to pronounce it.

Vaginal Moisturizer versus Sexual Lubricant

Hyalo GYN® is a vaginal moisturizer, not a sexual lubricant. There’s a big difference, and one every woman of a certain age should understand.

Sexual lubricants, like KY®, Astroglide®, and my favorite silicone variants, like “Wet Platinum®,” are for use during sex. (Just know that you can’t use silicone lubricants while using sex toys that contain silicone. If you do this then your vagina will fuse forever to your sex toy and people will laugh at you behind your back.) While sexual lubricants have their uses, they do nothing to improve the overall state of vaginal health and comfort during non-nooky time. Vaginal moisturizers are something else altogether.

What is Hyalo GYN®?

According to the package insert, “Hyalo GYN® is a clear, colorless gel with strong hydrating properties that contains Hydeal-D®, a hyaluronic acid (HA) naturally present in the vaginal epithelium and other body tissues. Hyalo GYN® was developed especially for women whose vaginal epithelium does not produce sufficient hydration/lubrication and therefore is prone to itching, inflammation, bacterial infections, and painful sexual intercourse.”

How do you use Hyalo GYN®?

Hyalo GYN® comes in a tube accompanied by single-use applicators. You fill your single-use applicator with the prescribed amount of gel and, either lying down or in the well-known tampon-inserting position, insert the applicator into your vagina and plunge.

Overnight, the hydrating properties of Hyalo GYN® work soothing and rehydrating dry vaginal epithelium.  In the morning, and for several days afterwards, your vagina feels plumper and juicier, and isn’t that nice? I’d give Hyalo GYN® two-thumbs up if that didn’t sound both very dirty, and quite uncomfortable.

Hyalo GYN® is non-hormonal meaning it contains no estrogen making it safe for women who cannot use, or are worried about using, hormone replacement therapy (HRT). Their website says that it is “Proven to be effective as estrogen creams!” (Exclamation point theirs)

Currently Hyalo GYN® is offering a FREE 10-Day Free Trial Kit to anyone who’d like to try out their product. You don’t even have to promise to write a review to get it like I had to. Here’s the free shipping code: SAM501

If you are suffering from vaginal dryness it is worth giving Hyalo GYN® a try. Just tell ‘em Chloe sent you. And make sure you use the secret code word. It’s “Juicy Fruit”.

 

*They were actually really nice in their reminder about this review. But nice emails don’t make good blog fodder.

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{ 20 comments… read them below or add one }

stephanie January 22, 2014 at 7:20 am

I am glad i found this blog i googled this product an saw your blog on the list so i clicked an was reading your review an i also didnt know about silicone an toys couldnt match so THANK YOU :-) for the heads up! I just recently had a baby an my vag is not the same anymore an i looked up how to make it better an found that i had to work double in effert but that will take a long while so a friend told me about this brand while waiting for her obgyn to call her it was sitting in front of her an she said why not try this since i know nothing about this i googled an found you now i am convinced to try this product an cause her obgyn as well said its the best out there so far :-)

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Diane August 29, 2013 at 8:44 pm

Thanks for the details, i feel like this one is much more natural than some lubrificant i’ve been using…
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Lee January 13, 2013 at 10:35 pm

I am cracking up with this review and if I needed a wet vagina then I would go and get the free 10 day supply. But, more importantly, I am VERY appreciative of the explanation of the sexual lubricants, which I had no idea about silicone lubricants and silicone sex toys, so I’m so glad that I read this post. Now, if you were to tell me that this stuff cured menopause I might even buy stock in it!
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Cathy Chester January 12, 2013 at 6:58 pm

This is hysterical! I must admit this is not a conversation I’ve had out loud with my girlfriends – shhh – don’t tell anyone I said that.:-) Keep it up, Chloe. I believe you found another niche by doing these “sort of” product reviews. It helps those of us who need a little, um, help with our Juicy Fruits…
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Ellen Dolgen January 7, 2013 at 9:58 am

They def could have used your branding skills – the visual of a halo over my vagina is just not at all sexy! If anyone tries this and finds it to be helpful please do tell so I can spread the word.
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BigLittleWolf January 6, 2013 at 10:22 am

You crack me up! That said, it sounds like a good product… Um, maybe it’s pronounced “Halo” because we would feel more angelic using it? Or “Alo” as in answering the phone in France because we’ll feel chic, sleek, and Parisian in all our dewy delight?

You’re not a bad product reviewer, by the way. I just think it’s a somewhat different animal when it comes to writing… But at least you tried a product that’s helpful to our GenFabulous selves! We thank you for that!
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Chloe Jeffreys January 6, 2013 at 5:38 pm

Those all sound like very good attempts at pronunciation to me. I have no idea how you say it. But it does seem to help, so maybe that’s good enough.

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audrey van petegem January 7, 2013 at 8:17 am

Maybe give them a call and see how they answer the phone, Chloe. I am sharing your product review with all my lady friends so we can all try it and be juicy together!

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Chloe Jeffreys January 7, 2013 at 8:44 am

You are so smart! That would have been a good idea. Let me know how it turns out, Audrey. What I liked most about it is that it does return the ability to be spontaneous without worry since you are juicy without lube.

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Walker Thornton January 6, 2013 at 5:51 am

Good review. I totally agree about the name–why don’t these people think about that. Branding is crucial. Your name is much better and offers a lightness to the subject.
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Chloe Jeffreys January 6, 2013 at 5:39 pm

Branding is crucial and picking a unpronounceable name for a product women will likely already be reluctant to talk about seems unwise. I hope they will reconsider because I do think this product is good.

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Jane Gassner January 6, 2013 at 12:22 am

I hope they’re thrilled with your review. It’s so–well, so thorough.
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Chloe Jeffreys January 6, 2013 at 5:40 pm

I hope so, too. I fear maybe not. Although I do know there have been some orders because of it. I’m not surprised though that I don’t get loads of offers to do product reviews.

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Anne January 5, 2013 at 7:32 pm

Maybe I WANT my vibrator to fuse to my vagina.
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Chloe Jeffreys January 5, 2013 at 7:34 pm

To each their own. But I’m going to laugh at you.
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Walker Thornton January 6, 2013 at 5:50 am

Oh Anne….too funny.
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Susan in the Boonies January 5, 2013 at 6:00 pm

Yippee! Looking forward to trying Not High and Dry!
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Chloe Jeffreys January 5, 2013 at 7:23 pm

They should have contacted you for some names before debuting their product. Honestly. You are so good at that.
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Sisters from Another Mister January 5, 2013 at 5:47 pm

I will never look at another pair of velour pants cavorting across the mall with JUICY plastered on its ass the same way again – evah.
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Chloe Jeffreys January 5, 2013 at 7:23 pm

Sorry to ruin them for you. Or maybe I made them better.
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