My Mom is Dying and My Uncles are Shitheads

by Chloe Jeffreys · 8 comments

in Our Parents, Sandwich Generation

My mother’s brothers have arrived on the scene (via phone calls yesterday. They want to descend in person this Saturday “before it is too late”).

Unlike the Cavalry, they are a day late and a dollar short. They haven’t made one move towards her since her cancer diagnosis three years ago. They were informed in September that her cancer was back and the prognosis wasn’t good. Not a word. They never called; they didn’t visit. The absolution they come to seek from my mother for being shitheads is not forthcoming. My mother can’t speak in cogent sentences anymore. They are already too late.

The social worker is coming today to meet with us for the first time. Thank God for hospice. I need them so desperately now.

Just when I thought I couldn’t carry this load one more step, hospice has shown up. I feel like a two ton weight has been lifted off of my shoulders.

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{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

The Reader December 3, 2010 at 11:55 am

Praying for you, Chloe. I cannot imagine the added pain, angst, frustration, etc. of dealing with crappy relatives on top of everything else…..praying that the visit is/was good with the social worker, and that no drama unfolds with the brothers. Many hugs to you.


Susan in the Boonies December 3, 2010 at 4:51 am

Well, even though I am still jealous of your butt, I will pray for you, and for them. I hope the social worker gives you some good help!!!


Cricket December 3, 2010 at 3:38 am

I'm so sorry…for it all. Remonds me of when dh and I were the only family on scene helping my in-laws as my MIL was dying from chemo complications (we didn 't know it at the time). I told others we needed help as we were also packing up house to move 2,000 miles away. They said they were waiting for us to leave, then they'd help. Your relatives are not the only ones….


Missus Wookie December 2, 2010 at 10:37 pm

I'm sorry for this too – that you've had to cope, your mom's family hasn't been supportive and hope that something good has come out of the social worker's meeting.

Seems sorta of appropriate that this comment window stops just where your side bar says, "May I offer up Ephesians 6:13 as a comfort to you:…"

Thinking of you.


Anne December 2, 2010 at 10:14 pm

I am no longer jealous of your butt!


The Hayes Zoo December 2, 2010 at 7:31 pm



Carletta December 2, 2010 at 6:33 pm

Without going into too much detail, I have witnessed this first hand. Trying to be gracious, so I'll just say that it is sad. I am really sorry for what you're going through. Thinking of you and praying for you often.



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