I’m home from New York City.

Thank God.

I know I complain… A LOT…about living here on this isolated mountain, but man, when I come home after a trip to a big city I realize how blessed I truly am.

Especially in the summer.

Driving up the mountain last night on our way home I felt like Hugh Conway in Lost Horizon finally making it back to Shangri-La.

Don’t get me wrong. I had a great time.  BlogHer 2012 in New York City was the blast I anticipated it would be. In fact, it was even better than I imagined.

Dare I say it?

Yes. I’m going to say it.

It was AMAZING!

No, really. It was.

First, let me get the bitch slap out of the way and say that there are a lot of self-important, entitled bloggers out there who need to get a freaking grip.

Maybe it comes from being born dirt poor in a housing project in Louisville, but this girl was raised to be a good guest.

And I say BlogHer was a damned good hostess.

If you have a special diet that requires you to only eat food that has never been touched by hands that have come into contact with oxygen, or wheat, or whatever, then I think you ought to be prepared to bring your own damned food.

Before you say that I don’t understand your delicate little princess digestive tract, or how you are so sensitive that you can feel even one little pea under 20 mattresses, I promise you that deep-fried cheese balls and heat-lamped cheeseburgers are NOT my normal fare. You don’t maintain this fabulous 50-year old body by eating crap like that. Trust me. But eat it I did, and grateful for it I was.

Yes, I’m paying for having eaten that crap, but them’s the conference food breaks. Check out the Before-and-After shots of my poor feet showing that I ate way too much salt, and didn’t drink nearly enough water.

If you didn’t like the food, there was a lovely little Duane Reed one block over from the hotel. (Did you know they even have a doctor on-site who will see you for drop-in appointments??!?)

On Friday, in desperate hope that maybe if I ate something good for me I’d be able to poop, I walked myself over there and got some fruit and plain yogurt. It didn’t really solve my pooping problem, but I felt better after eating it just the same.

And as for some reported behavior on the expo floor? We’re bloggers for god’s sake! We don’t do anything truly important. With some notable exceptions, most of us we are writing bullshit on the internet that nobody ever reads. Take the free vibrators and Lysol®, go home, and be happy.

I’m not saying that if there is a product that truly fits your readers that you shouldn’t pursue a relationship with the company. I saw three great products that you would LOVE!! (I’m not even kidding. If these things work like the vendors say they do, trust me, you want to own them.). But that’s not what I’m talking about and you know it. I’m talking about snotty bloggers acting like they are the queen of Blogland. Stop it. It’s rude.

Speaking of vibrators, I’m going to talk about them this week and show you the ones I received as swag. I know you will not want to miss that.

But you know that I don’t attend BlogHer for the swag. I go for the sessions, and the biggest take-away I got from attending sessions this year is that women over 50 are finally getting some notice.

If you are an older blogger who feels like you are nothing but flotsam floating in a sea of mommy bloggers, let me tell you that your time is now!

Last year, it was strongly implied that if I wanted my blog to be successful I should lie about my age. The common wisdom was that nobody would work with or bother reading a woman over 49.

49 +1 was the kiss of blog death.

This year??

50 is new black, baby.

I attended a truly terrific and encouraging session: Blogging into Midlife.: The Tension Between the Online Spotlight and Offline Invisibility.

Panel Speakers, Darryl Pollack,  Lynn ForbesAnn Dunnewold, and Patricia Patton did an excellent job of addressing the issues of older women in media today and the trouble older bloggers have attracting sponsors. There was great audience participation and I met some wonderful ladies from my tribe.

Then there were the parties.

Last year, women over 45 got nothing special. This year, I attended TWO fantastic events geared specifically for women over 45.

Poise®, who I poked fun at last week, threw an excellent Comedy Revue on Friday night that stupid me left early. In fact, I’m pissed that I left it early to attend an entirely unworthwhile shoe event that was a big waste of my time.

I’m old enough to know better than to chase swag. You don’t make it to 50 without knowing that nothing in life is free.

As God is my witness! I’ll never chase swag again!

Poise® is starting a new campaign for menopausal women called “The 2nd Talk”.

I’m honestly tearing up as I write about the new approach Poise® is taking to menopause. Most of us remember the 1st talk we received (or didn’t receive) about getting our periods. But who is here to give us the 2nd talk?

Menopause is shrouded in secrecy and shame for many of us. Getting older is treated like a crime–or a misfortunate accident–that only happens to women who don’t have the good sense to stay young forever.

Poise® has come out with new products that help with some of the more annoying symptoms of menopause, but the greater message from Poise®, that women should not be ashamed of menopause any more than we should be ashamed about any other stage of life, resonates with me as I hope it resonates with you.

And then there’s The BOOMBox Network, hostess of the now famous B(L)oomer’s Party on Saturday night.

Pardon me while I gush a little bit about the serious girl crushes I have on Chris Bradshaw, Audrey van Petegem, Anne-Marie Kovacs, and Susan Keats. Gush and gush. They are terrific ladies. Gush and more gush.

I love that women under 45 were clamoring over on the BlogHer 2012 Facebook Group trying to get invites into this event. Poor them. Too bad. So sad. (hehe)

And sad they should have been. They missed a great party!

I got to ride in a New York City cab through a packed Times Square to get there. And my wholly inappropriate dress was so short that I got to worry that maybe I’d flashed my lady bits to the others waiting on the curb at the Hilton (I didn’t. So sorry to disappoint.)

This event was classy and the sponsors were top notch.

I think eventually advertisers are going to realize that older women have money and time and want to spend both of those things on stuff that makes them happy. It’s time for advertisers to wake the hell up!!!

The BOOMBox Network even had a little surprise for me when I got there. I felt like such a celebrity with my name up in cardboard! There’s no stopping me now!!

 

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{ 36 comments… read them below or add one }

Still Blonde after all these YEARS August 10, 2012 at 4:16 pm

Chloe, I have read every post that I could on Blogher and yours was the most interesting so far. Wow, you tell it like it is girl!

I personally did not experience any issues with sponsors but boy did I LOVE meeting my peeps at the BoomNetwork and Poise parties. I am in my ulitimate glory to say the word “blog” and “SEO” in front of women my age and have them actually understand what it meant #Whoknew SO fun. Glad to have met you. The Chief BLonde, Still blonde after all these years
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By Word of Mouth Musings August 10, 2012 at 3:42 pm

YOU, you were my highlight .. .and we didn’t even get to have dinner!
But need you I do and speak, yes, we shall ;)
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Nikki August 8, 2012 at 9:04 pm

Thank you, thank you! My mom was there, too, and really enjoyed both the Poise party and the Bloomers party. I’m so happy for her, and you, for finding your spot. Also, seriously agree with everything you said about the food and the snobby ass bloggers :)
Nikki recently posted..My Sad #BlogHer12 RecapMy Profile

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Chloe Jeffreys August 10, 2012 at 11:11 am

Did I meet your mom?!?

Last year I went with my daughter and that was the best part of the entire BlogHer experience. This year she couldn’t go and I missed her terrible. But I did get more out of the convention. I knew a few more people and I have a clearer idea of what my blog is and what it isn’t.

I ran over and read what you wrote about the convention and I agree about the venue being too small for that many women. San Diego was HUGE and had lots of sound absorbency in the public areas which helped A LOT. Hopefully Chicago will be better suited to that many woman.

And hopefully next year I’ll actually get to meet people I went to go meet; like you (and you mom, I hope). And if your mom wants to find a good Facebook group for baby boomers please send her my way.

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Susan August 7, 2012 at 12:09 pm

Hey Chloe! Wow, impressed that you are recovered enough to have written such a swell blog post. I’m still nursing equally swollen ankles and sifting through all of the info that was poured directly into my brain. Its all still sloshing around, waiting for appropriate filing. In the meanwhile, meeting you and many other fabulous women, particularly those of us over 45 was truly a highlight. We all truly are Bloomers! Boombox Network knows how to throw a good party! Can’t wait to meet up with you again next year in Chicago! Love your writing by the way. You are sassy, all the way around.

xoxo Susan

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Chloe Jeffreys August 8, 2012 at 5:41 am

Finally, the swelling has gone down.

It was great to meet you, too. I am excited to see what BoomBoxNetwork and my fellow boomers can do.

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Audrey van Petegem August 7, 2012 at 7:44 am

Hi Chloe,
Thanks for the shoutout for BOOMBoxNetwork. We are excited to bring baby boomer influencers together with brands that want to speak to us. We had 14 sponsors at the B(L)oomers Party, which tells me companies are starting to take notice of us boomers. No need to lie about our age anymore because, guess what! – Brands are even wanting to pay us to hear what we have to say! I hope that all baby boomer influencers join BOOMBoxNetwork!

ps – the feeling is mutual but I think I have had a girl crush on you way before you had one one me! ;-)
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Chloe Jeffreys August 7, 2012 at 9:39 am

I’m so glad you and the BOOMBoxNetwork are there. My whole BlogHer experience this year was entirely different because I feel that our age group is finally being allowed out of the closet.

One thing I did notice was that on Pathfinder Day the audience was much more mature than the regular convention attenders. I can’t believe how many editors and writers and producers are in the Blogosphere doing incredible work. It really is an amazing community of talented, creative people doing something they love. What could be more inspiring than that?

Thank you for what you are doing spreading the word that We’re Not Done Yet!

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Audrey van Petegem August 9, 2012 at 1:03 pm

And thank you Chloe for spreading the word that baby boomers are a big deal on the Internet! I hope all boomer influencers join BOOMBoxNetwork so we can build a strong community of like minded people.
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Chloe Jeffreys August 9, 2012 at 9:26 pm

I know I’ve joined, You and Anne-Marie and Chris are going to change the face of women on the internet.

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Suzanne August 7, 2012 at 6:27 am

Great post on so many levels! Now I definitely want to attend Blogher in Chicago next year. I can already anticipate my hair frizzing and my bowels tightening up, but that’s what travel and (peri) menopause will do to you. Probiotics have been my friend of late and I am always super happy when I have a bowel movement these days. Sigh…I can’t believe I have reverted to thinking happy thoughts about such things, but there you are.

And as long as we are talking about menopause – at age 53 1/2 mine has yet to make an appearance…says she with the 3 week long cycle. Wait, I guess it has. Anyhoo – looking forward to checking out the links to all your girl crushes so I can read other “mature and funny bloggers.” I am so over babies and really don’t want to read about the newest toy or how to teach your kids to read. Not that those aren’t important, but been there and done that, ready for the next chapter!
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Chloe Jeffreys August 7, 2012 at 9:36 am

Yeah, travel, bad food, and jet lag conspired to give my digestive tract a terrible time. I’m going to bring probiotics in tablet form next time because you can’t rely on getting active yogurt.

And now I’m glad I wrote about it. Every time I think, “I’m not writing about that; people don’t want to read about that” I read someone else who wrote “about that” and I am so envious that they were brave enough to write about it.

I am planning on going to Chicago next year if you’re looking for a friendly face. BlogHer is an overwhelming experience on many levels, but I had a great time and met a ton of awesome people. I hope you come.

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Marci Rich August 7, 2012 at 5:34 am

Chloe! I love this post! I love that we had a chance to meet, if only briefly. And I love your writing. (But I’m sooooo curious. What happened on the Expo Floor? Did I miss some drama?)

Take care & hope to see you at BlogHer ’13!

-Marci

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Chloe Jeffreys August 7, 2012 at 9:30 am

Hey!! Marci, so nice to meet you there and here.

As far as what happened on the expo floor? You know what they say; what happens at BlogHer gets tweeted on Twitter.

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Kay Lynn August 7, 2012 at 4:36 am

Chloe, I’m so glad we chatted at the Bloomers party and sorry I missed the session for midlife bloggers.

Like you, I live in a low-humidity area and normally eat better. I came back constipated on swollen feet and exhausted. I’m still assessing what I think of my third BlogHer; need some time to process the good and the not-so-good.

I’m glad to have connected with my tribe and the BOOMBox Network.
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Chloe Jeffreys August 7, 2012 at 9:26 am

Connecting with the tribe WAS the best part. Audrey, Anne-Marie, and Chris did a phenomenal job putting that event together.

I’m finally pooping again like a normal person and my feet swelling has gone away. Next time I need to drink more water!!

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Magnolia August 6, 2012 at 10:43 pm

I’m glad I hung out with the teen girls. We had a blast. :) And I don’t know who gave you that crappy advice about lying about your age and that nobody cares about your blog if you don’t…….but I’m afraid I might have bitch-slapped them myself.

I have an excellent blog which has opened oodles of doors for me, not to mention it has paved a new career path for me; brought me in contact with Nobel Peace Prize winners who have been exceeding generous to me and my career goals; have offered to mentor me, and well…….enough of this “you’re too old crap”

And how come you didn’t come drink with me???? I had to knock down apple martinis all by myself.
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Chloe Jeffreys August 7, 2012 at 9:24 am

I don’t know. It was like we were like two ships passing through the night!! Maybe it’s like a wedding where you never get to spend time with your friends. I can’t believe all of the people I DIDN’T get to see or hand out with. It makes me very sad. I’m so glad I ran down the elevator and got to at least meet you.

Your daughter and her friend are adorable. I can totally see why you’d want to hang with them. I was sad that I didn’t see more of New York City even though it smell like garbage and urine.

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Magnolia August 7, 2012 at 11:29 am

Were we walking down the same streets? All I could smell was food, food, and more food. :)

There were a couple of places that were a bit dirty. I was disappointed with the Central Park Zoo, but still glad we saw it. Especially since we walked down 5th Avenue to get there. Wowza. That places was FABULOUS!!

We had a wonderful time and I’m really glad I was there. But, I was definitely ready to come home. I could never live there. It’s just too fast, too big, and too “everything” for me.

On a personal note, you were very beautiful up close, Chloe. Luminous skin and just a gorgeous woman. I’m sorry we didn’t get to throw back a few martinis together.
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Chloe Jeffreys August 8, 2012 at 5:40 am

Wow! Thank you. I felt so exhausted by the end that I no longer felt very luminous.

I’m sorry it didn’t work out on those martinis. I can’t believe what a whirlwind it was for me. I can’t believe it came and went like that. I saw a ton of people, but hardly any of the people I went to see. I almost think the thing is too big for me.

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Suzy Q August 6, 2012 at 6:44 pm

It was nice to meet you at whichever party that was (can’t remember now).

Menopause is not death. Mine was surgical, four years ago. Those 30-something women who recoil at the thought should realize that they, too, will go through it someday.

50+ FTW!

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Chloe Jeffreys August 6, 2012 at 10:32 pm

We met at Sparklecorn (I’m pretty sure.)

I think many younger women think that aging won’t happen to them. But it will, won’t it?

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Grown and Flown August 6, 2012 at 6:20 pm

What a treat this party was and meeting you, one of the highlights. Great post, great weekend, and some great new friends. Really what could be better?
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Chloe Jeffreys August 6, 2012 at 6:26 pm

It couldn’t have been better.

The only thing that would have made it better would have been if Botox Cosmetics® had been there.
Chloe Jeffreys recently posted..50 is the New BlackMy Profile

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Sally August 6, 2012 at 5:26 pm

Fascinating! I look forward to hearing about the products, since I am in the preferred age bracket. My only problem is that between my aging tooth fillings, college tuition, one daughter having her wisdom teeth extracted, another being put in braces, the car going in the shop for the umpteenth time (I think you get the picture), it’s going to be a while before I have much money to spare. Should have had my kids earlier in life, like you!

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Chloe Jeffreys August 6, 2012 at 6:25 pm

We are sort of caught between generations, aren’t we? Most of us are still supporting our kids a lot longer than we used to, and that cuts down our disposable income.

But I did think there were some worthwhile products out there that I know I’m interested in.

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Maddie Kertay August 6, 2012 at 4:35 pm

Well as you know I am ALL about the vibrators but I wondered how much action ( pardon the pun) the vendor really got for their money since you know that maybe 1% or less of those women who swagged their bags will even write about those vibrators that they were given.

As for that dress… {low long whistle} lady you got it all going on no matter what age! Seriously I am glad to hear about the attention to the 45+ crowd.. I mean it only really makes sense.. we are where the real money is. Glad they are finally noticing!

Maddie
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Chloe Jeffreys August 6, 2012 at 6:24 pm

I fear that edensfantasy.com shot its wad last year and then people didn’t post about them because they were afraid to. This year they scaled their swag down A LOT. I was sad because they have great products, and I did write about them.

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Sharon Greenthal August 6, 2012 at 4:25 pm

The B(l)oomers party was the best – and getting to share a cab with you was one of the highlights of my weekend.

And you’re right, you do have a rockin’ bod – swollen tootsies or not!

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Chloe Jeffreys August 6, 2012 at 6:27 pm

I was so glad to get to meet you and spend time together. Thanks for the cab rides!! I hope we get to run into each other again soon.
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Julie Danis August 6, 2012 at 4:21 pm

So happy to have met you and your girl crushes at BlogHer2012. What a great conference. I took a lot away from the conference, other than the swag – left the cleaning product behind. Don’t know where to start improving my blogging life.
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Chloe Jeffreys August 6, 2012 at 6:21 pm

It was wonderful to meet you, too, Julie. I hope we get to see each other again at future conferences.
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Anne (@notasupermom) August 6, 2012 at 4:15 pm

Wait, there were free vibrators?
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Chloe Jeffreys August 6, 2012 at 4:17 pm

I took them all. Sorry.

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Julia August 6, 2012 at 5:31 pm

And you’re going to have your own give-aways, right?!

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Chloe Jeffreys August 6, 2012 at 6:10 pm

Yes. I believe there is a giveaway coming soon.

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